I have not written a lot in a long time. Our family has been having challenges and I have not felt that I have had any good things to help others with because if I can’t help us how can I help you? Well, as typical for me, I am wrong. Sharing is just as important as educating and this will be a little of both.

Trust the experts but also trust your gut. Our son was approved for intense therapy back in April and it took until June to really dig in but the folks we had working with us were good therapists but not good for us. I had that feeling early on but thought I did not know how this works, maybe it should take longer and I had not given it enough time. The excuses were many, the results were the same – they were not for us and we could have been working with the right team much earlier if I spoke up earlier.

Make sure you get what you need. While Robbie needs help so does our entire family and the relationship with his sister. We have been approved for that but you cannot do everything at the same time. Which leads to the next comment – patience. This is not easy, especially when everything is turning upside down. it is a difficult balance to know when to make changes and knowing when to wait.

Don’t miss the obvious. Robbie is now taller than me. He is going through typical 13 year old growth and hormones yet his medicine has not changed. He is taller, heavier and things are not the same so why not verify that everything is not the same. Medicine is by no means the answer to everything but if it is wrong, nothing can be right.

Try to look at some of the positive in the middle of all of the negative. It is there, but it is hard to find it and even harder to be thankful for it. You and your family need you to find it so you can continue to grow even if it is very small.

Trust. This one is hardest for me. No one understands what is happening in your life except you. With children with special needs especially when high functioning, it is even harder. They look neuro-typical but they are not so expectations of people is they are “normal.” When there are outbursts or problems, it looks like they are “crazy” when instead they are themselves and we put them in situations that they could not manage. It is so easy to just bury your head and hide from the world. Sometimes that is needed, but most of the time you need to learn to trust even small groups to practice behavior.

I would love to hear other’s thoughts.