When a family has a child diagnosed with a chronic illness, they share it with family and friends. They ask for prayers. They post statuses on social media of the illness. They go through times of health and times of sickness, there are good days and bad days. There are apps that people use to start a meal train, provide updates to many, help give the parents a break and share with others. People take the child’s siblings out to give them some time away from the worry. There are nurses and doctors appointments and sometimes modifications needed in the home. It can limit the parents ability to go out or for the family to go out together. The child does not have a “normal” life. They are in their room fighting symptoms or studying because they missed so much time in school. There are “Go Fund Me” accounts set up.

When a family has a child diagnosed with a mental illness their personal struggles are the same. Both worry about what happens when they die and who will take care of their child. Both have roller coaster lives and wake each day wondering if today will be good or bad. They have doctors and teams and medication to monitor. They need to work with schools to help and accommodations there and at home. They miss events on bad days and stay home even when they want to go out. They cry, worry and laugh sometimes. There are one step forward and two steps back but there are so many differences.

A family who has a child or children with mental illness is isolated. They do not have the supports or or the community that others with chronic illness do. How could they? Their child or children are the ones that scream and have outbursts. They bang doors and put holes in walls. They threaten and hurt themselves or others. Their children cannot be left alone nor can they have a regular sitter. There is no Facebook and they hide because there is embarrassment around what is happening. When people do find out they do not know what to do. No one sees it as a problem like a disease – instead your child is the strange one – the one that has outbursts for no reason. They look “normal” but they are not. It is a sad and very lonely world.

Today there are Facebook groups and some communities around mental illnesses. There are blogs like this one, It is helpful to know that there are others that feel the same way but it is still different. There is still stigma and with that stigma embarrassment. People do not understand unless they have been there. Folks say things like your kids need to take deep breaths, run outside and get their energy out. Or worse, you just don’t parent them well…. they need good old fashion discipline. Then as the kids get older they face their own discrimination and bullying.

I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it because I did not have a solution. In reading it now I realize education is the key. Please be part of the solution and help those that struggle quietly.