I find as I get older I need to do more and more work for my own heath and my children’s.  I am not sure if it is the insurance headaches or the fact that doctors book appointments too close together; but if I don’t come in informed, I typically leave disappointed.  You have to be your own advocate and the advocate for your children.   It is a tough job; it takes time and it is hard work.  Sometimes though no matter what you do to prepare, things just don’t go right.  As a mom, even of adopted kids, I have learned to trust my gut.  If I think something is wrong, something normally is.  At 16 months when my son came to live with us he was not speaking.  At that time, I knew he had ADHD – he was the poster child.  He would wake in the morning and run around a million miles an hour and then crash at bedtime.  Because of that, and his behavior at schools, he we diagnosed early.  But at 16 months I thought he was autist, and at 10 ^1/2 he was finally diagnosed.  I did not follow my gut and I allowed “specialists” tell me I was wrong even though I knew I was right.

Sometimes the doctors you have may not be the right doctor for you or your children.  It does not mean they are bad doctors, it does not mean that they are not good at what they do, but it does mean they can’t help you and as soon as you recognize that the better you and your family will be.  I think this happens more with therapists, psychologists not physical doctors.  There are tons of different approaches to therapy especially for children and not all of them will work well for you.  If you don’t feel like it is helping here is what I suggest:

1. Make sure you give them enough time. I know you don’t want to waste time but therapy takes time.  Don’t jump from one to another but if you don’t click it may be time to say goodbye
2. Tell them that you don’t think they are helping you or your child and will be looking. Be honest and straightforward.  If it is the type of therapy they offer, then possibly it is just not right for your family.  We had Robbie with a therapist who did “play therapy” but it did not work for Robbie and that was ok.
3. You may want to try others while still remaining at the one you are with. This way you can compare.  Similar to a second opinion.
4. Ask for a copy of your child’s records so you can take them with you. You have rights to them so please take advantage of those rights.
5. Be ready to start all over with the new doctor. Keep notes, evaluations etc. so you are prepared for your visit.

Only you know what the right thing is for your child.  It is hard when you are dealing with an “expert” to doubt what they are saying or doing but if it is not working, you deserve better.  Keep that in mind every step of the way and you will be good.

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